fruit

do you ever feel like you have to work for peace?? i do. ESPECIALLY at bed time.. no no, not MY bed time, THAT comes easily.. but putting my kids to bed, now THAT is a task and a half. ug. and its never peaceful. i am thinking back now, to when those Johnson & Johnson commercials would come on, selling there "night time miracle lavender bath wash and lotion." now, was it me, or did it look like the baby/children magically were in a "lavender trance" as they peacefully went to sleep.. and these actor parents? HA, WHO is still in the room WHILE the child is asleep just petting there face? i know i know, when they are little that happens..... but very few, and far between times.. WE, the parents, look more like tattered up worn out rags than peaceful, "model-esk" <--sooo made that word up, parents! Am i right? or what? So here is the Q.. do we HAVE to work for peace? I mean in an all around sense. Peace in our lives. Peace in our personality profile. Peace in our mind, our spirit. DO we need to work for it. I know the Bible tells us that "peace" is a fruit of the spirit. And, so if i have the Spirit in me, my branches should be sprouting peace! But, what if it isn't? What if that branch has a void? Unfinished buds, that never produce juicy lush "peace fruit?" hmmm... are the fruit of the spirit like a "Pick Your Own Orchard" in our lives? Do we pick n choose what fruit to plant in our orchard of life? Now, i know i gave the "Master Gardener" the keys to the garden a long time ago.. but, i might still have my hand on the seed bags. I mean, i WANT all the fruit, but am i willing to go the distance to truly be transformed? Why would i limit my orchards abundant possibilities, just to hold onto a few thorn bushes, or the "pretty" dandelions disguised as flowers, but are just truly weeds??

A sad fact, but oh so true.

My orchard is growing. It never stops.

The question is, what is it producing?

Peace, or thorns?

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22

ocean

i used to love the ocean.

the cool breeze it blew you on a hot summer day.

the sand that messaged your feet when no one else would touch them.

the castles you made with just a shovel and a pale.

the break of the waves.

the irresistible soothing sound that only a wave and a shore can make together as they meet.

BUT now?

no.

i am mad at the ocean.

its a heart breaker.

you cant swim across it.

you fall in love with it, only to let it slip through your fingertips.

it waves hello.

it waves goodbye.

it shows distance.

it lets you know you are far away.

it tells you what side you are on.

it doesn't lie.

you cant be on two sides of its shores at once.

you have to pick a side.

but no matter what side you pick, there is always an empty side.

a side that has a void.

a side that is unreachable.

untouchable.

have any of us really touched the ocean?

the ocean tells us our place.

where we live.

what we eat.

what we think.

its a lot more that a "body of water."

it gives us placement.

it makes us choose.

what side will we be on?

i wish sides didn't matter.

but sides are the only thing that give shape.

what shape am i?

what shape are my children?

i am mad at the ocean.

you separate.

you divide.

you make me think.

but you also produce life.

without you we would just be green.

but you are blue.

green is envy.

blue is life.

beautiful.

fresh.

maybe i cant be mad at blue.

i don't want to be just stuck with green.

but i am still mad.

you separate.

and divide.

why did you let me build castles in the sand that you would only just wash away?

i am mad at the ocean.

who knew

Yesterday, the 1st of November, was my 26th birthday. Its was great, filled with gooood food, shopping, presents, and of course my family. Its funny when you have a birthday, and you look at old photos of yourself and you remember that "life stage." WHO would have know where you would be today... other than God, no one! I love looking at myself when i was 4, 10, or 16, remembering what was the "BIG" part of my life, the focus at that time... 4, well it was probably playing kitchen and trying to get as messy as i possibly could... 10, hmmm, i think it was friends, and 16, THATS a no brainer... it was DEFINITELY boys.... lots n lots of boys on the mind... i am now reminded of my "shrine" to Leonardo Dicaprio.. hahaha.... i think i had about 50 cut out photos and posters of this guy PLASTERED to my bedroom walls.. i "loved" and dreamt of marrying this man of mystery... haha, OH how things have straighten out.. THANKFULLY. I still LOVE playing kitchen in our many homes we have lived in, and the sink is always messy, and i still LOVE good friends, and making new ones, and i still LOVE boys! ITS true, cant lie. But now, instead of a name like "Leonardo" its more like, Miles, Levi, Ezra.. and the MAN of my dreams, BRYCE. Watching my kids grow, and to see the things they love at this stage of there lives, it makes me wonder what there loves will be years from now... its a puzzle... a mystery, little clues, a little glimpse into the lives of the children i love, and the young men they will be become.

wowzerssss

WELL, i have been more than neglectful with my blog... yikes... BUT, to be fair we have had a whole, life turned upside down, last few kind of months! Moving half way around the world, starting a new job, starting rent and all those good things again, AND having our 3rd beautiful baby boy... 5wks early! AH! So, that has been my MIA excuse.... haha, for sure. With all the *new beginnings and new life, we are truly excited, and feel soooo blessed! We LOVE the church we are working with, doing Young Adults ministry, we LOVE this area, Lancaster, PA, and LOVE being near our family once again, we also LOVE our new little son, Ezra. Soooo, WHAT a blessed life we have! YES, i wont lie, it has, and can be very stressful at times... but once i have my "oh yeahhh" moment, and give all my worries and cares to Jesus, i remember, in a much clearer mind set, that God is STILL, and has been, in control. My life is not "me" centered, its all about bringing glory to His name, and to His fame. MAN, what a constant mind redirect we need to conduct to have this be the daily goal...

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need i say more??

Isaiah 49:1-4

Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver. He said to me, "You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor." But I said, "I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand, and my reward is with my God."

Need i say more???

Read this last night, as was like, whoa.... for real....

I mean, dosent this just describe our "little adventure?"

This verse read me like a book....

.need i say more.

yummmmm, peace......

peace... i cant WAIT for peace..... moving half way around the world once in a lifetime is ONCE enough, but, twice, in a short amount of time should be illegal... ha, to say the least. Can i just say, that when i start up home, again, i am buying BIG, HEAVY, things, and i WONT be thinking "Who could i pass this on to..." or "Will this fit in a suitcase?" NO WAY, i am done, completed, stick a fork in me, COOKED, lol.... I have also found that being supported financially by ways of a missionary title is great, but it can have some fall backs. I think it gives people the idea that they have a certain amount of control on your families decisions. OK, i can see if we were buying big and extravagant, YES, the spending should be questioned, haha, BUT, making decisions about your family, is the families decision, ESPECIALLY when the family is a family that would not make hasty decisions, or make a decision without prayer... am i right? We have been blessed with a great church that has supported us in this ministry and in our family.
Sometimes i feel like i am stuck in a sticky web, and either way i move multiply parts of the web move, and pull and twist. 3 wks is all we have left here in New Zealand... and I WISH this part of the web didnt leave so much rip and tear, on our family, on me, and on Bryce... there are no regrets about us coming here, i just just wish it would have ended with a better taste on our tongue. so peace is what i am craving at the moment.... yummmmy yummmmy peace :)

the short and sweet

SO, how to begin...

As ya'll know we have been living in New Zealand since December 10th, when we chose as a family to fly over, selling house and home and leaving everything to serve at a camp along a beautiful beach. Its been fun, its been HARD, its been up and its been down. With many circumstances playing into our family decision, we are coming home to the States the beginning of August this year. YES, next month. I know many of our friends and family have ideas, and agendas of what we should be doing, but we know this is the right move for our family. We are very grateful for SOO many of you pouring support into our family, through prayer, support and finances. We would NOT have made it without the support from our home church, Community Christian Fellowship, and the help from Warrenton Bible Fellowship, month by faithful month. We know without a shadow of a doubt that moving here was the right decision, and we are so glad that we listened and followed. We have no regrets. This was an important season of our life, another chapter added to the Taylor Family Adventures. We are not "giving up" we are not running from hard circumstances, we are simply doing what is best for our family, our family of 4 and growing. THANK you all for the love and support you have shown, I pray that none of you will take personal offence to our decision. We would NOT have made this decision without a lot of prayer. SO, for the next adventure, right around the corner, we would LOVE it if you still poured out prayer for our family. We have a lot of loose ends to close, and many decisions to be made. Till we meet again!! The Taylor Family :)