there is only 1

One year ago today, July 1st 2009, Miles at just 3yrs old, our baby, our first born, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

I thought he might have a UTI, so i scheduled a Dr's appointment, to test for a UTI, and a blood sugar test for the RARE chance it could be anything different. Our schedule that day meant that i had to go by myself, Levi was just a few days away from turning 1, Bryce stayed home with him, and Miles and I shot out at 8am to the Dr.'s. "We'll be right back!" I said as I jetted out the door, to a "routine" visit... or so i thought.

I shared with the Dr. my concerns that had alerted me for the last 2 weeks. Miles was extremely thirsty all the time, and went to the bathroom more than normal. The Dr. got the little blood sugar checker, picked his finger, and dipped the little stick in his blood. Then we waited... I remember asking: "Soooo, is this the test? Will i know now??? Do we send anything off to a lab?" And she said, "No, we will know now." The number read 207. I asked, "Is that ok??" "No, she said, thats high..." "Soooo, thats it??" I kept asking. Realising that our life as we knew it just changed... in about 5 seconds.... The Dr. started crying, in sympathy for us, as i just sat there staring off, as she was telling me to take him to the Hospital, they have will have a bed ready for him. I remember calling Bryce on the way home, telling him to call someone to babysit Levi, because it sounded like we would be in the hospital for a few days. The rest was a blur, i quickly packed a little over night bag for Miles, gathered a few toys, and gave him some breakfast not knowing what to do food wise. The hospital, that we had never been to, was over an hour away. It was a horrible drive, not knowing what had just happened. We called my parents, and they were on their way from PA, a 4 hr trip, to take care of Levi. We got to the hospital, and went in the emergency section. Miles had an IV put in, and numerous amounts of blood taken. We did a urine test, that showed his sugar levels were in the 700's. The numerous Dr's we saw kept asking us in amazement, "how did we know to get his sugar checked??" They were shocked that we caught it so early, and that Miles was still in good health. ((Most parents will find their child in a coma, and thats when they will find out they had diabetes...)) All i could really say was.. "My mom spotted it." She somehow knew that frequent urination and extreme thirst was a sign. If it wasn't for my mom, i am sure that we would never had caught it that early... The next day and a half in the hospital was lived in pure shock... as we learned that our son could never eat again without us checking his sugar and injecting insulin in his body. I felt angry. I felt like I had no control. I felt like it was a cruel joke. "Can someone please wake me up? This is not whats suppost to happen." I was heartbroken knowing that everyday I would have to cause my son pain. My baby now had a "chronic disease." I have never cried as much, or prayed as much, as i did that first night in the hospital, sleeping in a chair next to my baby boy. I cried out during that night: "LORD, wake up his pancreas! I DONT except this!!! Heal him!!"

I was crushed.

BUT, here we are, 1 year later. And we have survived. We have conquered. We have triumphed. We have won. No, the Lord hasn't woken up his pancreas, yet, but i know one day He will. Maybe not in the way i am picturing, or imagining, but one day, either here on earth or in Heaven, Miles will be healed. THAT, my friend, is a 100% guarantee.

Miles has numerous finger pricks a day to check his sugar levels. These readings are displayed by numbers. First we had to learn the American number system, then the New Zealand. And trust me, they are very very different. He has 4 insulin shots a day, 1 for every meal, and 1 at nighttime. Numbers are a big part of our day. The time of day, counting carbs, the amount of insulin to inject, the readings on his sugar checker.... numbers, numbers, numbers!! Ironically, i HATE math, so this is just plain funny. But, the only number i need to keep remembering, is 1. Just, one.

There is only 1 true God, and HE is in control. He has the answers. He is our hope. He is our strength. I dont know what the future holds with Miles and his diabetes, but what i do know, is that my ONE true God will never change, never let me down, never look at Miles diabetes as "too much." He is the constant. There is only 1, only 1 true God. And, I am so glad to give him this burden, and turn it into an amazing testimony of our 1 true God's faithfulness.